Good times.

I've been thinking [nothing extraordinary] about good times, and how bad times can sometimes steal away the good times.
Bad.

This is nothing spectacular but I learnt for myself over the past 12 months that it's vitally important to not let hurt and stubbornness steal away our smiles and joyful memories and precious moments and relationships. It's so easy for one bad moment with someone to erase all the good times and fond feelings that had been so present before.

One hurtful action or insensitive remark can rob us of the joy of knowing each other and has in the past made me feel like I wasn't allowed to remember the good times we'd had.
Absolute silliness, I say.
It's always important to remember the good times, and we should remember them more than the bad times. In fact, who's up for erasing the bad times altogether?
That's the way it should work!

Sometimes it takes some time, and time is a wonderful thing and something I am now learning to be grateful of.

It's just so important to let go and let love lead. Sounds corny as a box of popcorn. But it's real. And makes happiness way more accessible :D

oth s6

Something begins, and then it ends.
I guess you just have to be grateful for where it leaves you.

Under the scrutiny of the bathroom mirror.

I take the Cookies from the Cream, leaving only the boring bits left for sharing. And one thing I've learnt from my life is that the boring bits still taste good.
I'm a mess and it's hot and I skip to the bathroom to brush my teeth to prevent the icecream from decaying my teeth anymore than it already has.
Who eats icecream before 11am anyway!??!
I think only me...

I look in the mirror and decide to do something with myself.
My hair is everywhere and nowhere proper, my eyes are tired and puffy and my face is showing signs that betray it's morning-icecream-secret.
What do I want? What should I do? What should I NOT do?

I'm smart enough to know that "things", the things I've wanted and dreamt of, don't make me happy for long. And sure, some of the things I used to dream of are part of my everyday existence now. And it's hard to see them in the same way I did when they were only a dream, something I would have done anything for.
They lost their glitter not long after I could call them mine.
Some things I had spent years dreaming of suddenly meant nothing when they came to me.
I've disrespected the dream, I've thrown it away, I've damaged my drive- and it's too scary to try again.
Can you have a dream come true twice?
Maybe I'm about to find out.
Maybe you can have whatever you want, as many times as you demand.
Maybe I'm over seeing other people in my place...

I leave the bathroom looking more like a lady and feeling more like myself.
See you soon World :)

my music project!!! http://youtube.com/MoylenMusic

I have started a small Project. In order to provoke myself in actually PRACTICING my music, I have decided to record and post 1 song for each day, over the next 20 days. They will all be originals of mine, written over the last few years. Please be nice! For those who are interested, go to http://youtube.com/MoylenMusic and have a listen. Thankyou!

My book remains unread.

I catch a train to Melbourne, because I can.
It's cheaper than a flight this week, and that is how I chose.
I think of Nelly and Dan Kelly and chew my nails as I stare out the window at the slow moving scenery.
I travel past many an un-mowed lawn, many a junk pile, many a run down home and many a 3rd-hand vehicle.
I travel past a deflated blow-up pool, in purple, red and green, out front of a disheveled block of units.
I travel past many empty warehouses and rundown shop fronts and "for lease" signs and I am grateful for Gosford and her many inhabited stores.
I ride straight through countless Train Stations, and some I stop at.
I see a Maori boy with one side of his thick head of hair completely shaven off.
He reminds me of a girl I used to know when I used to go to church, but don't anymore, but want to again.
Kmart, Woolworths, Franklins, busses, child-care centers, football fields, well-manicured roundabouts, Fitness-First, Bunnnings Warehouse, AMF Bowling, Gold-Class Cinema's, townhouses, estates, golf courses, speed signs, wire fences, full trees and some empty of their leaves.
I see horses and orchards and open fields and small farm houses.
The scenery has changed.
I see an old man leading his horse through a dam of water.
I see growth and greenery and nature.
I imagine rabbits skipping and hopping across the terrain, but there are none.
I see a perfect tree.
I am happy to be beyond the Suburbs.
All I see is green.
I try to stop biting my nails.
And my book remains unread.

White Dress.

I am currently making my wedding dress, and it's very exciting!!!
For me, it is, anyway...

I wanted to put up posts of the journey from "Bits of fabric to Complete dress", but realised that whilst it is being made it looks an awful lot like a mess, and i may as well just save the updates for one final one. A final post that says "FINISHED!!!"

It's exciting.
I sit in Love.

Creating a world...

I am creating a world where goodness runs faster than all other rivals.
Where virtue stands taller than any other figure.
Where beauty springs clear and fresh out of rocks colliding upon a hillside
and where Love is the meaning of all.
For we have not a life without that which constitutes Love.

Carrying tremendous momentum, moving swiftly, with the grace of refinement and the evidence of instruction, one runs ahead of the multitude. Sweeping past the swarm of simplicity. Abandoning oneself to be dissatisfied with the acceptance of the average and ascending beyond them, into an everlasting bliss. Built upon the foundation of the open mind.

Care to join me?

Clamboyancey

The air was thick with emotion.
Almost as if you could feel the tears she had cried that night, hanging in the air…
Waiting, patiently… to fall again…

The water was deep with emotion.
So deep and so blue that at just one look you could tell that these waters were hers…
These waters, her tears…

The tears- shed on that deep, blue night...
The tears- from her deep, blue, crying, eyes.

Her eyes that threatened to poor again…
With every second drawing them closer to their next weakening…
The next downpour of emotion…
The next season of tears…

She was readying, once again…
Preparing for the season of change…
For the season of cleansing…
And soon it came to be that she was ready to begin all over again.
Ready to start anew.

Never being prepared for the tragedy, not this day, not ever…
She still knew what she had to do…

Clamboyancey was readying herself for the position she held every year… And it was only she that knew the true meaning of her place… She was to be the bringer of all life… The beginner of that
different something new each year and she was to bear the tragic pain and loss of her whole city.

Could she keep this up, she was never sure…
But each year she once again questions her motives and her reasoning…

Someone else-A song for this morning.

Your words.

Your words make me sick with longing.
But what for, I never can tell.
For the mind.
For the feeling.
For the soul.
For the freedom.

Have you ever wanted to be someone else?

the beginnings of a song

it could take a minute, or it may take a life,
for me to say the words to make you want me as your wife.
but it's not what you want it's... it's how you feel inside...
and i'm so happy being happy that i can't decide.

so if you wanna go for a change,
if you wanna differ the way
that you look at the world
you could say i'm the girl for you.
i'd like to be not such a saint.
here's proof that i'm looking for change.
when you look at the world
you will see - i'm the girl for you.